Seated and speaking my truth
How an evening flow to release some stagnancy from sitting most of the day ended in tears...
I sat down. Yes. That’s right. The irony. All day I went from poor posture slouched over a laptop, to comfortably propped up on a cushion, hips lifted; on rotation all day.
A few nights ago, I flowed.
Then I (tried) to sit flat on the ground, legs out in front, after some solid hip flexion work.
And I cried.
I rolled onto my back and broke down.
A couple of months ago, I sat in a yoga class and the woman next to me broke into tears being asked to sit, legs straight out and focus the breath on the pelvic floor.
I remembered I was not alone. Enough is enough. I have a story to tell. I have people to teach. I have people to support. I have people to lift up. I have tears to help wipe when the womb space and root chakra shakes us up. I promised that this year I would share more of my journey than I have ever shared about yoga and the pelvic floor.
Now, I know, sitting with our legs straight out and beautiful posture is challenging for many of us. But it’s my pain point (at depths that I will continue to uncover and share). If I am ever asked to sit flat, you might as well be asking me to stand on my head. It’s almost instant tears. It’s better each day, but it’s still hard work. And I still have days where a simple self-practice leads to tears over sitting down.
I have spent years between chiropractors, pelvic floor physiotherapists, yoga teachers, massage therapists, spending every penny insurance would allow for self-studying of this part of my body — tailbone, hips, hamstrings, pelvis. All of the things that connect to this robust structure, the pelvis. Crying in a seated posture has been a regular occurrence over the years. It’s truly my pain point. It is my remembering that we all come to the mat for a lesson. That even us yoga teachers can’t always demo what might look like the “easiest” of postures with great ease.
We are all on a journey. Mine is this that of the pelvis, the hips, and pelvic floor. Journeying through what comes up via this beautiful, strong, magical structure that sits above our legs, comprised of muscles that help keep our organs up there in our torso, ladies.
This share is barely the tip of the iceberg. This is the year that I stop accepting it as my pain point and open up the conversation.
Honour your journey. Even the tears. Someone out there needs to hear your story.
PS: I have been collecting my learnings for years — stick figures, notes, stickies, digital journals — and I am developing content and courses on all things pelvis, to help others move through what I have (and continue to) move through. Stay tuned for details.